My life, version 2.

So its been several weeks since my last entry. I must say I’ve been struggling during that time. On the one hand I feel great. On the other, I am not seeing the progress I feel I’ve earned as a result of the effort I’ve put forth. It’s always about the scale with me. As of January 1, I am down another 6 lbs. In that eight weeks I was shooting for 1-2 lbs per week. That would be 8-16 lbs. - makes the real 6 sound pitiful. I was really banking on the new year calorie counting to be the secret weapon that proved effective.

Trainer M says I need to think positively and stop stressing over the scale. In fact, he urged me to stop getting on the scale for a while. I just fear that if I don’t check in often, the number will go up. He compared my weighing to planting a seed and then digging it up everyday to see how it is growing. Instead I need to leave it alone and water it so it can grow! Interesting analogy.

He also told me that having stress and negative thoughts can hinder my success. If I can visualize myself succeeding, I will get there.

Unfortunately I missed my appointment with J this week due to a miscommunication. She always encourages me and lifts me up emotionally pointing out that I have made great progress and am often too hard on myself. I could have used that pep talk as I am under a lot of stress.

First, FR was not doing well. The vet thought she may have had a small stroke. My acupuncturist disagreed and treated her for ear problems explaining that they could have caused her disorientation and odd posture. Thankfully, now she is doing fabulous with no lingering symptoms other than a healing hematoma.

If that weren’t enough, M tells me on Monday that his boss is declaring bankruptcy negating a huge balance I have with him. He isn’t sure what the outcome will be for him at this point as he may need to change gyms. Just when I have it down.

And finally, today an employee gives notice. Geez - how much turmoil can I take. While I am happy for him and his opportunity, I now have to concentrate on a solution.

So in my efforts to feel positive and happy, I am writing it all down to let the baggage go. My plans for success are getting back to tight calorie counting, eating more vegetables, adding more yoga and cardio, drinking water and relaxing about the process as I do.