Out of Control
OK. So things are out of my control. I am uncomfortable with that. I react poorly to the buildup of things that happen TO me. I wish I didn’t care. I have recently become aware that it affects my well being in many ways. First, I try and push through. When it keeps compounding I get stressed and avoid. Then I feel guilty that I do. Then I lack motivation… for exercise… for socializing - you get the idea. Then I eat. I am mindful that it is bad for me but I do it anyway. I don’t really understand why I choose this destructive path - even though I am now mindful of the cause. I hate confessing it because I feel stupid. But there it is.
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